You go out – meet a new girl – you really like her – you are very nice to her – baam! You end up in the friend-zone. This is the general idea of what happens to those who constantly get sucked into the friend zone. There are various factors at play for two people to get attracted to each other. Attractions are strange and instantaneous. Often times, it happens without our own conscious decision. There is nothing you can do if a certain person is not attracted to you. However, if you are in the friend zone, more often than not, it’s your fault you ended up there. If you had played your cards right, you would probably be going on dates with your crush and not, well, “reading this article”.
Fear not, there are ways to escape the friend zone despite the mistakes that landed you there in the first place. Here are some basic tips to make that happen.
Make Efforts to Groom Yourself
Attraction plays a key role in sparking romantic interest between two people. So needless to say, one of the major reasons people end up in the friend zone is because the person they desire simply does not find them attractive. While you might be in your best behavior, failure to spark the feeling of lust, seduction, and attraction will always leave you being “just friends”. Attraction, luckily, does not only depend on looks. Anyone can work on appearing more attractive both physically and psychologically.
It helps when you know how to groom yourself properly. Getting in better shape and wearing nice clothes can work wonders for you. Additionally, the way you talk, your social skills, confidence in approaching others, and body language can also stimulate attraction and sex-appeal. There’s a reason why people who generally considered attractive rarely end up in the friend zone. Impressing your crush, regardless of the gender, should not be taken lightly. The more effort you make, better you will feel about yourself, and that confidence will work your sex appeal like nothing else.
Tone Down on the Selflessness
Another reason why many people end of in the friend-zone is because they are simply too “nice.” To clarify, being nice is a fundamental quality of a decent human being, and that alone is never a reason for one to get laid. However, if you are the one doing all the work and making all the sacrifices in the “friendship,” then it’s very easy for the other person to take you for granted. People value what they have to work to obtain. When you are the only one investing time and energy, only you start to develop loving feelings.
Therefore, sacrifices and favors should be mutual and there should be a healthy balance from both sides. If your “friend” was being just as understanding and investing their time on you, they would more likely develop romantic feelings towards you as well. If the other person never offers, just ask!
Break the Touch Barrier
When you meet with your crush or that special “friend”, do you just shake hands? When you guys hug, does she give you the full body hug or the A-frame? The little things like these play an important role when you want to kick-start your relationship on a romantic level. To build sexual tension, it is important to increase the intimacy of touch over time. Even if you are the nervous kind, don’t completely avoid touching your date or your “friend.” However, don’t go overboard with the touching either, lest you want to come off as a creep!
Even if you are not in a relationship, the way you squeeze her hand, or the way you guys hug each other will ignite sexual tension. Just be careful not to appear too sexual. Always follow a slow, steady progression of increasingly intimate touch. Most importantly, immediately back off if the other person is not comfortable!
No Guts – No Glory
This point can not be stressed enough. When you can’t find the courage to ask her out, guess where you will end up? That’s right, the friend-zone. “I just want to get to know her better”, “I am waiting for the right time” aren’t good excuses. If your intention is to start as friends and organically progress into lovers, you’re in no luck. It is extremely rare that friends turn into lovers, and that only happens when both of them had romantic intentions to begin with. Hoping your “friend” will develop romantic feelings over time is an act of desperation, and 99% of the time there are no happy endings.
The best approach is to man-up and just ask her out on a date – express your feelings. This bold approach will show her your confidence, which itself adds some brownie points. Remember “friends”, no guts – no glory. In the worst case scenario, if you do get a cold shoulder, at least you won’t have to stay trapped in the friend-zone. Move on and find someone who actually has feelings for you.